I love notes...not just Love Notes but any kind of nice notes (sorry, bad joke). There are few things better than walking out to your car to find a folded piece of notebook paper with your name on it and words of affection or endearment scribbled on the inside. I once found such a note hidden in the book I was reading. Another was written on a Post-It and conspicuously placed on the bathroom mirror, then a second on my lightswitch (I think it was). A couple of times the notes were written on a bunch of paper hearts and scattered throughout my bedroom (often referred to as a heart attack).
In my opinion it is impossible to not smile when you find such a note. I love how it says, "I was thinking of you today" or, "Just because I like you a ton" or even just, "thanks for making me smile!" I tried to send such a note today using text messaging but I really don't think it had quite the same affect. It's just not as personal and thoughtful as pen on paper.
Every card, note, heart, letter, Post-It, etc. that I've ever received is tucked safely away in a journal or in a shoe box to be kept and remembered for all my life. I love the people who shared their heart and kindness with me and I love to have a piece of them to hold in my hands, even when they are no longer with me.
I am grateful for the friends and family who have influenced my life for the better. Thank you for loving me, thank you for sharing a piece of yourself with me. Thank you for teaching me and for supporting me throughout my life.
You are positively MAGNIFICENT!
16 September 2009
14 September 2009
The Face in the Mirror
I walked by a mirror and saw the face of someone I hoped had gone
I thought I would never see her again but it seems that I was wrong
For she stared through me with eyes ablaze in memory of lives past
She called to me and she beckoned me to step back through the glass
The world where she lives is one of pain, of darkness, fear and sin
But also a place where no one cares who, what or where I've been
For a moment I stood motionless, my heart pulsing in my ears
Unable to think, unable to breathe, trembling and close to tears
What do I do when faced with this choice, should I go or should I stay?
Where is the guide to give me strength, sustain me and show the way?
Is it a mask I'm wearing now or is the lie the face in the mirror?
How do I know the truth from the lie underneath all my fear?
Is there a place between here and there where I can just be free
To live and to breathe in joy and in peace? Is the choice really up to me?
The face in the mirror was lovely once, but now it's weary and worn
So I turn away from the death and dismay to a life that's newly reborn
The face in the mirror may always remain to remind me of the past
But now I will choose the better way that will lead me home at last.
~ ff
I thought I would never see her again but it seems that I was wrong
For she stared through me with eyes ablaze in memory of lives past
She called to me and she beckoned me to step back through the glass
The world where she lives is one of pain, of darkness, fear and sin
But also a place where no one cares who, what or where I've been
For a moment I stood motionless, my heart pulsing in my ears
Unable to think, unable to breathe, trembling and close to tears
What do I do when faced with this choice, should I go or should I stay?
Where is the guide to give me strength, sustain me and show the way?
Is it a mask I'm wearing now or is the lie the face in the mirror?
How do I know the truth from the lie underneath all my fear?
Is there a place between here and there where I can just be free
To live and to breathe in joy and in peace? Is the choice really up to me?
The face in the mirror was lovely once, but now it's weary and worn
So I turn away from the death and dismay to a life that's newly reborn
The face in the mirror may always remain to remind me of the past
But now I will choose the better way that will lead me home at last.
~ ff
12 September 2009
say what you need to say...
I wish you would talk.
Silence is more heartbreaking than anything you could say.
I wish you would talk.
At least then I would know what you are thinking and feeling so I wouldn't have to guess.
Most of the time my guesses are wrong anyway.
So I wish you would just talk...say anything, anything at all.
Tell me about the weather if you can't think of anything else but
I'd rather know the temperature of your heart and mind than
whether it's partly cloudy or 90 degrees outside.
I wish you would talk.
There are so many words I want you to say and it's been so long since you've said anything.
I wish you would talk.
Don't worry if you're not sure how to form the sentence;
remember what I told you before, just
say it the way you can and we'll talk it through until we've made sense of it all.
I just wish you would talk.
Broken things are more easily mended when conversation is involved.
At least that's what I have found works best.
Broken hearts are more easily mended when the hurt is able to breathe.
Please just talk to me...
Tell me if your heart is feeling the way as mine.
It's okay if it isn't, it would just help to know your truth.
You talk and I will listen...and I will talk if you will listen.
That's the way friendship grows.
I wish you would talk.
Avoidance is never the way to heal a hurt.
I wish you would talk.
Ignoring an elephant in the room won't make it disappeare,
it'll just cause a bigger mess.
Generally the things you don't want to say are the things that will make the best difference.
So talk, it'll make us both feel better.
There's a reason why people talk to dispell an awkward silence.
Sometimes words are the cure-all, especially in a difficult situation.
I wish you would talk.
A lot of war and contention could be avoided if the parties involved would
open up and listen, and talk, and talk, and listen.
I'm ready to take my turn listening
whenever you're ready to take your turn to talk.
Silence is more heartbreaking than anything you could say.
I wish you would talk.
At least then I would know what you are thinking and feeling so I wouldn't have to guess.
Most of the time my guesses are wrong anyway.
So I wish you would just talk...say anything, anything at all.
Tell me about the weather if you can't think of anything else but
I'd rather know the temperature of your heart and mind than
whether it's partly cloudy or 90 degrees outside.
I wish you would talk.
There are so many words I want you to say and it's been so long since you've said anything.
I wish you would talk.
Don't worry if you're not sure how to form the sentence;
remember what I told you before, just
say it the way you can and we'll talk it through until we've made sense of it all.
I just wish you would talk.
Broken things are more easily mended when conversation is involved.
At least that's what I have found works best.
Broken hearts are more easily mended when the hurt is able to breathe.
Please just talk to me...
Tell me if your heart is feeling the way as mine.
It's okay if it isn't, it would just help to know your truth.
You talk and I will listen...and I will talk if you will listen.
That's the way friendship grows.
I wish you would talk.
Avoidance is never the way to heal a hurt.
I wish you would talk.
Ignoring an elephant in the room won't make it disappeare,
it'll just cause a bigger mess.
Generally the things you don't want to say are the things that will make the best difference.
So talk, it'll make us both feel better.
There's a reason why people talk to dispell an awkward silence.
Sometimes words are the cure-all, especially in a difficult situation.
I wish you would talk.
A lot of war and contention could be avoided if the parties involved would
open up and listen, and talk, and talk, and listen.
I'm ready to take my turn listening
whenever you're ready to take your turn to talk.
05 September 2009
Life is good and so am I
I'm watching Runaway Bride. Next I'm going to watch another sappy chick-flick and then probably another after that. I'm done being bitter. I'm done ranting against romance and love and all the sweet and wonderful and beautiful joys in the world. I'm done being cynical and doubtful. I'm working on letting faith overcome my fears. I'm working on making myself into the best me I can be.
I know that bad things will continue to happen, it's part of life. But I'm working on keeping the better perspective through my trials. I know there is always a posibility that something will happen and I will be battered and broken again but I'm willing to take the risk. You can not know joy if you do not know sorrow. You can not fully appreciate love if you have not experienced loneliness and heartache. You can not know healing and peace if you have not known hurt and anguish.
I have experienced all of these negatives (and some others) and I am ready for the good stuff! Through my experiences I have learned empathy and understanding. I have learned that the greatest way to overcome heartache is through forgiveness. I have learned that there is nothing I can do that will make my Father not love me and not want me back...He is always waiting with open arms until I am ready to do the work required for me to find my own peace, the peace He gives. I still have some work to do but I'm recovering. God loves me, He understands me and He has provided a way for me to be healed of every wound and He will fill me with peace and joy. He will make up for every loss and every hurt and every sorrow.
Life is good and getting better all the time!
I know that bad things will continue to happen, it's part of life. But I'm working on keeping the better perspective through my trials. I know there is always a posibility that something will happen and I will be battered and broken again but I'm willing to take the risk. You can not know joy if you do not know sorrow. You can not fully appreciate love if you have not experienced loneliness and heartache. You can not know healing and peace if you have not known hurt and anguish.
I have experienced all of these negatives (and some others) and I am ready for the good stuff! Through my experiences I have learned empathy and understanding. I have learned that the greatest way to overcome heartache is through forgiveness. I have learned that there is nothing I can do that will make my Father not love me and not want me back...He is always waiting with open arms until I am ready to do the work required for me to find my own peace, the peace He gives. I still have some work to do but I'm recovering. God loves me, He understands me and He has provided a way for me to be healed of every wound and He will fill me with peace and joy. He will make up for every loss and every hurt and every sorrow.
Life is good and getting better all the time!
29 August 2009
Avoiding Homework
The first week of school went well. I love my Tuesday/Thursday classes the most. I suppose that shouldn't be surprising to me since they are my British Literature and Creative Writing classes. I'm not terribly fond of taking Trax and Frontrunner and I'm even less fond of taking the bus but that is the chosen mode of transportation for this semester. It is nice that I can do homework or other such activities on my way to school, but I don't like that I have to get up extra early in order to get to class. Oh well, it's part of the experience, right? Perhaps it can help to improve my writing. I can work on character development and plot content, borrowing characteristics from the people who share the commute and storylines from overheard conversation. We write about life and reality in my Creative Nonfiction class so how else am I going to have things to write about than to witness and participate in lives and reality of others?
Right now I am supposed to be working on homework. I have an assignment for my writing class that isn't due until September 8 but I haven't even come up with a theme yet. I should have two or three drafts by now (according to my teacher), at least one draft. I have some ideas for the subject matter but it all depends on how honest and revealing I am willing to be. And it depends on how personal and deep I want to go. I need an experience that will be interesting for people to read. I need to have a puropse in telling about this experience; some sort of a "life goes on (Ob-la-di, Ob-la-da)" moral. I have some of these experiences but I'm not sure how to write about them, or if I want to write about them. Some of the topics I'm tired of writing about...others I'm afraid to write about. Some seem too silly and immature, others are too mature and deep. Sigh, I just don't know what to write for class.
Right now I am supposed to be working on homework. I have an assignment for my writing class that isn't due until September 8 but I haven't even come up with a theme yet. I should have two or three drafts by now (according to my teacher), at least one draft. I have some ideas for the subject matter but it all depends on how honest and revealing I am willing to be. And it depends on how personal and deep I want to go. I need an experience that will be interesting for people to read. I need to have a puropse in telling about this experience; some sort of a "life goes on (Ob-la-di, Ob-la-da)" moral. I have some of these experiences but I'm not sure how to write about them, or if I want to write about them. Some of the topics I'm tired of writing about...others I'm afraid to write about. Some seem too silly and immature, others are too mature and deep. Sigh, I just don't know what to write for class.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)