i wish you could see you through my eyes

i'm feeling very loving today...from way down deep inside. it's one of those moments when i wish i could just give a hug to every person i know and tell them how truly amazing they are. earlier this week i was not feeling so loving. i didn't love myself, for one thing, and so i was entirely focused on finding love for me instead of focusing on giving love to others.

Dr. Gary Chapman, author of the book, The Five Love Languages would say that my love tank was empty. In my Marriage As an Interpersonal Process class last spring semester, we read this book and took the assessment at the end to determine our individual love languages.
The five languages are Quality Time, Acts of Service, Words of Affirmation, Gifts, and Physical Touch.

I'm a bilingual lover, which means that my results were evenly split between two dominant love languages. Can you guess what they are? Yep, Quality Time (with a specific emphasis on quality conversation) and Physical Touch. Over the last year I have been more or less avoiding one on one interactions with most people, and all forms of physical touch, even including hugs (my favorite form of affectionate expression).

i have the dearest friends! they have been so kind as to indulge my need to fill my love tank this week. The Artist, Midgie, Gonzo, Niffer, Chelle, Pola, Spaz, and a few others have been especially wonderful in helping me to feel loved, accepted, wanted, adored, etc. this week.

the funny thing is that so many of my dear friends who i absolutely adore more than anyone i've ever met in my life, don't see how truly incredible they are. i know at least some of them feel the same way about me as i do about them right now...that is, i wish they could see in themselves what i see in them. i ache for their heartaches today. i ache for the way they see themselves. i wish i could take them individually in my arms, hold their faces in my hands and transfer from my eyes to theirs, from my heart to theirs, the vision of them i see. a certain few in particular.

i love them all dearly. i'm so grateful for each of the amazing and absolutely fantastic friends i have been blessed with throughout my life.