What Are You Going to Do?

I don’t want to go where I’m not wanted

But I want to be with you

So if you’re not the one not wanting me

What are you going to do?

It may just be my paranoia, it may be my insecurity. It may be truth.  I don't know, and I don't know how to find out.  Females are interesting, and can be difficult, especially when a guy is involved.  Guys are generally dumb and often oblivious.   There are questions I want to ask, but I'm afraid he's getting really tired of all my questions.  

I'm not like other girls.  I have a lot of trouble being clever and witty in groups larger than two or three people.  I often don't have anything at all to say, and when I do try to speak I generally don't speak loud enough to be heard and understood.  Why do I act like such a frightened mouse these days?  Have I always been like this?  Completely devoid of opinion and intelligence?  That can't be right.  I've been very interesting and entertaining in my life.  I do have a tendency toward the deep and dramatic sometimes, but I can be funny and exciting too. 

I feel like I'm only half myself these days.  I've been so constantly tired and I don't have much ambition for anything.  I'm not sure if I'm in self sabotage mode or if I legitimately need to back off and try a different strategy.  I just don't know.