Anxiety

I've been feeling really anxious the last few days and I'm not sure why. It's like one of those warning anxieties, like something is coming and I should be prepared, but I don't know what to prepare for. I haven't built up enough to have the world come tumbling down on me again just yet, I haven't climbed high enough to fall to any significant depths. I don't know.

I've been a little overwhelmed with my faults and flaws recently. I made such a comment on my Facebook and got the most touching response from a dear old friend. He said, "I've told you before that you are hyper-self-critical. You are a great person and an absolute sweetheart. There is nothing you need to be worried about." I read his words this morning and started to cry. I miss him, I miss his friendship and his hugs. I'm grateful for his words of kindness and encouragement via FB though, I can always count on him to say nice and supportive things like this.

I know I need to stop seeing myself in such a negative light. It's a bit of post traumatic stress response I think and it strikes at the most inopportune moments. I know I'm a great person and I have a lot to offer, but a lot of the time I lose sight of my good qualities and focus too much on the areas in which I need improvement.

My friends and family are really supportive these days. Once I decided to open up and let people in it got a lot easier. I'm doing better with talking myself through it. I've worked through this last one in under a week and that's definitely progress. I'm coping better. I just need to regain the rest of my balance. I'm going to be okay.