27 January 2013

when will i ever learn?

it was largely my fault. he didn't let me help and barely talked to me all week because he was being considerate of what he thought was my feelings. i had changed my mind, but evidently didn't explain that to him. so it was all a big misunderstanding initiated my things i said. my stupid fear and selfishness. i'm so sorry dearest.

from this i have learned that i need to be more brave...and perceptive of how he receives things i say and do. also that prolonged silence is an indication that i need to make him talk to me until i understand what he's not wanting to say.  and, he is a good man, though we both need to work on our communication.

something else i discovered is that i do love him and i don't like being without him.  that scares me. like i said, being alone is easier...but i don't want to be alone, even if it is easier.  so, as usual, i don't know what to do. sigh

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