I miss you, Love

without you

I see you oh so clearly as you stand
Just beyond my reach upon the sand
You smile with that smile that I love
I swear you must be sent from up above
You teach me how to dance against the storm
And in your gentle arms you keep me warm
The courage you transfuse into my soul
Gives me the will to seek a greater goal
This journey leads me to another land
So I reach out for you to take my hand
I do not want to tread this path alone
I need for you to help me set the tone
But you just stand there whispering a song
The one that's been my guide for oh so long
The I know by the tears upon my face
It's only the beginning of this race
And though I know you are my guiding star
You now must watch me only from afar
For this test must be mine alone to take
Without you I am easier to break
That of most worth is hardest to be born
So for the grandest prize I must be torn
Though neither of us move to walk away
The space between us grows with each new day
In dream I scream and shout that it is wrong
But I awake to find that you are gone
When all my worth is proven to the end
I will be back within your arms again

Soundtrack of You

I've been thinking of you
Awaking with music in the air
The song reminding me of you
As I wander through the day
The melody plays over and over
A broken record tearing my heart
I go to places we used to frequent
Eating ice cream on a child's swing
Reading books we never intended to buy
Smiling at the thought of you
Splashing in the fountain at the park
Tears burn through the laughter
As I remember your empty chair
Abandonment of your side of the bed
The music gets louder reminding me
Your body is gone but your spirit lives on
The soundtrack of you carries me home

I've been thinking of you this week. It's been a long time since I've allowed myself to indulge my thoughts in you. It isn't time yet, and it's just too difficult to think of you when I know you're still so far away. Perhaps I should think of you more often; the heartache over missing you is worth the hope that comes more readily when you are on my mind. Perhaps you're the Muse I've been avoiding?
I've been focusing on the heartache that comes with missing you. Maybe I should focus on the hope of finding you instead. I've been avoiding all thoughts of the future, and many thoughts of the past. Trying to live here and now, only in the moment, works only so well for only so long. My life has no meaning or direction. I'm stuck in this moment, waiting for you to come, knowing you are still so far. I miss you, Love.