we regret to inform you

ok, i vented, and that was probably the wrong thing to do.  what i really want is a conversation.  i don't want to be angry or hurt, i want to be mature and communicative and kind.  i want a little time to acclimate to the way things are now. he won't give me a conversation. he won't give me time.  he won't give me courtesy.  he won't give me anything except a text or two once in a while and it's not enough for a legitimate friendship, not after what we've been through...i deserve more than that.  but it seems i won't be getting anything more than a text now and then with empty promises and vague half-commitments.  i don't want texts like that. silence is better than that kind of disappointment. i don’t know if he thinks he’s doing me a favor by texting this way or if he legitimately thinks this constitutes a friendship, but i can’t have an almost-friendship like this.  it hurts and depresses me when he says he’s coming around and then bales at the last minute.  it hurts even more when he says we should get together soon because it’s been too long, like i’m the one who is always unavailable. i have been supportive and inviting and patient.  i’ve tried to be forgiving. every time i get a text from him my heart aches because i can't help but hope he is going to live up to his word and decide to be a friend, but almost every time he has some excuse to not be there.  i wish him luck and happiness, and if he would stop saying he's coming around i'd be fine with minimal communication through text or email.  if he would decide to make the time to come when he says he's going to, that would be fine too.  but this wishy-washy might-maybe-may is just intolerable. make a decision. if you're coming, say you're coming and come. if you're not coming or not sure, don't say you might, just don't say anything.  that way it's a pleasant surprise if you show up, but no disappointment if you don't.  the way things are now he is inconsiderate and unreliable and i don't need people like that in my life.  i don't know if he reads my blog.  maybe i should just email this to him and say, this is how i feel, please be kind.  i don't know.  i never really know what to do when people won't listen and understand and communicate effectively.  i do know it needs to change.