Not Sleeping

I don't sleep much these days. I've always struggled with insomnia, but this is ridiculous. I don't even fall asleep on the train these days.

Okay, honestly, much of my lack of sleep over the last few weeks has been because I've had such an active social life. I stay out late at Z's house, or with the girls, or at "the Bee's" after FHE. Then I have to get up early for school 3 days a week, and for church on Sundays, so that leaves Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays for sleeping. This week I had to get up early on Tuesday to go up to the school and take a test for my Adult Development class.

So, here I am at 1:25am. I should be sleeping, but I've been recouping from the day. I'm uploading music to my iTunes (which I've only just recently started using, seeing as how I still don't have an iPod. I didn't know I could use iTunes just on my computer). I like it a lot better than Windows Media Player.

I should be doing homework, but by this time my brain has shut down and I can't think about it. I'm behind on my homework, that's not good. I have two group projects in the next couple weeks and I haven't even read the subject matter. Working on it. I have to read a ton of poetry and write some poems. I need to read a Greek play and write a response essay that's due on Friday, no worries on that one...and I think I'm doing the best in that class so I'm not too concerned. It's actually a great class, one of my favorites of all time. My teacher is great and he seems to like me as a student. I've gotten A's on most, if not all of my assignments, and he's had me read many of my papers aloud in class during discussions. It's pretty flattering and encouraging.

I love my poetry class too. My teacher is possibly getting senile and is generally pretty crazy, but in the greatest way. He does like to ramble a little too much sometimes and I get kinda lost in his thought process, but it's a really fun class. We're this great little community of poets, and we all get along pretty well. Two of the girls and I have become cohorts and we have so much fun. Tonight's class was completely insane. I don't know what was going on, maybe Jill put something "special" in the brownies she brought ;-) just kidding, but really it kinda felt that way. We laughed so hard we were crying. It was pretty great.

I really love school this semester. It's nice to be going up only three days a week instead of five. I do wish I could find a job so I could have some financial security, but part of me is grateful that I haven't had one this semester because I'm just enjoying being in school and playing with friends.

Generally life is really good. I've stopped stressing about the job issue because the stress was making it really difficult to even look for a job, let alone apply. I've applied for a bunch of jobs, interviewed for a few...but nothing is working out so I've put it in God's hands and I know that when the time is right I'll figure out where I need to be. And until then, I'll just enjoy school and society.

So, while today was not such a great day, it's not the end of the world like I let myself feel for a while tonight. I tried all day to be positive and up. I faked it well enough that I got through class without anyone knowing, but when Z canceled movie night for the second night in a row and I was left to myself, I couldn't fake it anymore. So I watched 2 movies, ate some chocolate, and wrote...and I cried my hurt out. Now I'm feeling a little better. I think I should probably go to bed now. I really hope I will be able to sleep in late in the morning. Wish me luck, I need a good, long sleep. If I don't sleep well tonight I'm taking drugs on Friday night and sleeping most of the day Saturday...just kidding.

good night