i wish...

...snow was warm.
...chocolate and Dr Pepper were good for me and made me healthier and slimmer.
...cars lasted in perfect condition forever and never needed to be repaired.
...sleep came more easily, lasted longer, and left me feeling rested and ready for life.
...all people lived by the standard of leaving thing better than they found them (or at least the same instead of worse), especially with regard to people and also merchandise in retail establishments.
...bodies were allowed only one ailment at a time.
...life was allow to dish out only one catastrophe at a time.
...people you love automatically loved you too, and to the very same degree.
...words would always cooperate.
...friends didn't leave.
...i had more family; aunts, uncles (who live super close so i could see them regularly), cousins, etc.
...i had grandparents (at all), especially ones who knew just what to say to make things better when life turns topsy.
...careers were not necessary (unless wanted), and people were paid according to how well they do their job rather than according to some objective and completely unfair pay scale.
...educators and literacy advocates (library and bookstore workers) were paid more than sports players and movie stars.
...silence and distance didn't hurt so much.
...medical and dental aid didn't cost so much.
...i had a giant teddy bear that could wrap me in its arms and hold me while i fall asleep so i don't feel so empty and alone at night.
...cold sores could be cured.
...the love of my life would just come already.
...my head would stop hurting.
...my everything would stop hurting.
...i didn't have to wake up tomorrow.
...i had money to go to Boston in September with HeyPay and Chelle.
...my siblings and i were better friends.
...i had a mentor.
...i could write well enough to be published and widely read.
...i had something worth writing.
...i were a true artist.
...i were a dancer.
...i wasn't so selfish and depressed so often.
...i could still see Bestest Friend, The Artist, and Will every day.
...someone would hold me and kiss me.
...wishing on stars could actually make wishes come true.
...promises were unbreakable.
...someone would figure out and give me the most perfect birthday present (i don't think i've ever told anyone what i want most of all).
...i didn't have to be so alone all the time.
...i could be more consistently positive (i really do try).
...i could be a mom.
...someone understood me and knew me and knew what i need and need to hear when i feel like i do today.
...i never felt like i do today.

most of all tonight, i wish i meant more to you...to anyone...