21 December 2012

haunted

there you are again...popping up, unwanted, unbidden...reminder of pieces of me i never wanted to see again. will you always haunt me? my life, my dreams? my every attempt to break free and become new?  always there, somewhere, lurking in the cracks and crannies of my distress and insecurity. the last communication i sent informed that you are the worst villain and my life's destruction. my fears and shards and infected wounds still throb and swell because of you.

but it's me, not you. the memory of my weakness and complete stupidity keeps me reeling and wasted. how can i ever patch the holes and stitch the cavernous crevices of my still troubled self? write more? i've already wasted so many...too, too many words on you. yet here i am, 4am and afraid to sleep. i don't want to see you...miss you...hate you again in my dreams.

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