24 September 2014


“There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature.”
Jane Austen, Northanger Abbey 

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
Bob Marley 

“I think if I've learned anything about friendship, it's to hang in, stay connected, fight for them, and let them fight for you. Don't walk away, don't be distracted, don't be too busy or tired, don't take them for granted. Friends are part of the glue that holds life and faith together. Powerful stuff.”
Jon Katz 

“He must have known I'd want to leave you."
"No, he must have known you would always want to come back.”
J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows  

“The beginning of love is the will to let those we love be perfectly themselves, the resolution not to twist them to fit our own image. If in loving them we do not love what they are, but only their potential likeness to ourselves, then we do not love them: we only love the reflection of ourselves we find in them”
Thomas Merton, No Man Is an Island 

“Friendship- my definition- is built on two things. Respect and trust. Both elements have to be there. And it has to be mutual. You can have respect for someone, but if you don't have trust, the friendship will crumble.”
Stieg Larsson, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo  

 The concept of friendship has been on my mind a lot recently. I wrote a big post about how a certain someone said he wants to be friends but that I don't know how that's possible since he doesn't know how to be a friend to me and friendship should be balanced and two-sided. How self righteous, selfish and unfriend like is that attitude? Yes, ideally friendships are equally yoked, give and receive, everybody benefits from every encounter. But, sometimes one friend has to be the one to give much more than seems fair or right in a given moment. I'm sorry that I have not been a very good friend to a lot of people the last few years. I have been too focused on my own needs and problems and have forgotten how to be a good friend to others despite my own struggles. 
With this new insight I will try to be a better friend.

I am grateful for all the good friends who have shown me that friendship is a whole, and can make broken pieces whole again. Friendship is giving and receiving. Friendship is kind, patient, understanding, forgiving, gentle, uplifting and fulfilling.  Friendship is accepting all the flaws and shortcomings along with the talents and triumphs.  Friendship is just being there in the right moment with the right attitude.  Friendship sometimes feels heavy but is worth the effort. True friendship is worth more than all the riches in the world and costs only time and heart. Friendship is compassionately honest. Friendship is worth fighting for, even if that means just loving someone from whatever distance they need in a moment. And friendship is accepting them back with open arms and a joyful heart when they are ready.

This is how it works. I love the people in my life, and I do for my friends whatever they need me to do for them, again and again, as many times as is necessary. For example, in your case you always forgot who you are and how much you're loved. So what I do for you as your friend is remind you who you are and tell you how much I love you. And this isn't any kind of burden for me, because I love who you are very much. Every time I remind you, I get to remember with you, which is my pleasure.”

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