it was after 6pm before i heard from him today. really? i know he was super busy all day, it was moving day...but he could have sent a good morning text before he started...at least a "thanks" or a smile in response to my "good luck" text this morning. better yet, he could have let me help him move. i offered, told him to say when, but he wanted nothing to do with me all week. so how am i to believe him when he says he wants to see me?...after he's done unpacking. why does unpacking come before someone he claims to love? i'm panicking and in great need of affection and reassurance, and yet boxes of stuff are more important?
i've tried to be understanding and patient with his carelessness and insensitivity, i know he's been stressed...but i don't really understand why. there must be more to the situation than just a week of packing and moving. i packed and moved myself all in one day, a couple of times, without any help at all...true he had a houseful of stuff and i only ever had a couple of rooms worth, but it's all just stuff.
it's been a really rough year so far. illness, stress, heartbreak...and it's not even the end of January yet. i hope it can only go up from here. i really think i'm due a good year. it's been a while. i guess the one good thing is that i'm finally starting to write again. sorry it's been so depressed and plaintive. i'll work on coming up with something more positive or entertaining to write about in the near future. so sorry, but thank you for listening.
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