Epiphany

A girl in my British Lit class invited me to submit a piece of writing to the WSU non-traditional student literary journal, Epiphany. The submission is due by September 30th and I'm having trouble deciding what to submit. I've narrowed it down to the following, I'd really appreciate your help in choosing. Please leave a comment with the title of the poem you like best. If you are familiar with my writing and think something else that isn't listed here would be a better submission, let me know. Thanks for your help!

Jaded
I sit here in the quiet
Longing for someone to kiss
My heart begins to riot
Screaming soundless into the abyss
Dreaming beneath the shade of trees
The sun high and hot for late June
Tender young rose buds looking like peas
Will shrivel and fade like a prune
I wade into lake of shining crystal
Seeking relief from scorching sand bar
Leaving behind concealed pistol
And dusty old tuneless guitar
Deviation from life over brooded
Destruction is circumstance concluded

Soundtrack of You

I've been thinking of you

Awaking with music in the air

The song reminding me of you

As I wander through the day

The melody plays over and over

A broken record tearing my heart

I go to places we used to frequent

Eating ice cream on a child's swing

Reading books we never intended to buy

Smiling at the thought of you

Splashing in the fountain at the park

Tears burn through the laughter

As I remember your empty chair

Abandonment of your side of the bed

The music gets louder reminding me

You body is gone but your spirit lives on

The soundtrack of you carries me home.

I am lost
All around me the world revolves as it always has
People come and go, wrapped up in their little lives
They are all unaware of people like me
Lost
Sometimes every person is exactly the same in unique ways
Everyone wishes for the same basic things
Companionship, Security, Nourishment, Shelter
And a set course to give direction and purpose
But sometimes we are all the same
Lost
How many people walking side by side by side
Alone
How many people spinning out of control
Alone
Why is there no help for those who need it
Everyone needs help, but they are all afraid to ask
Or maybe… I am lost and alone, fighting a battle that can not be won
I know there are others like me, I just don’t know any
If we were together, would chaos abound
Or in total insanity, would we find the solution
A soul mate or two, gone out of our minds because
We were lost and alone
Separated
Then joined again we find Peace and Balance
So gather the insane, the depressed and distressed
Bring one with the touch of healing
We will again be made whole by His presence
And no more will we be
Lost…
Alone…

Without You
I see you oh so clearly as you stand
Just beyond my reach upon the sand
You smile with that smile that I love
I swear you must be sent from up above
You teach me how to dance against the storm
And in your gentle arms you keep me warm
The courage you transfuse into my soul
Gives me the will to seek a greater goal
This journey leads me to another land
So I reach out for you to take my hand
I do not want to tread this path alone
I need for you to help me set the tone
But you just stand there whispering a song
The one that's been my guide for oh so long
Then I know by the tears upon my face
It's only the beginning of this race
And though I know you are my guiding star
You now must watch me only from afar
For this test must be mine alone to take
Without you I am easier to break
That of most worth is hardest to be born
So for the grandest prize I must be torn
Though neither of us move to walk away
The space between us grows with each new day
In dream I scream and shout that it is wrong
But I awake to find that you are gone
When all my worth is proven to the end
I will be back within your arms again


Always
As I sit here staring at the page, trying to find the inspiration to write, my vision becomes cloudy. Blurred by the tears rising like a flooded river after a rainstorm, blinking will only release, soaking the page. Crying won’t help, I know, so I sit up straighter in my chair and try to focus my attention on what brought the sudden surge of emotion…Dancing in the desert under the Milky Way, encircled in the arms of the most incredible love I have ever experienced.

Feeling my face flush, I realize this is not the time or place to be contemplating the deep memories of past lives; grasping for any other thoughts, all I can find are ones of the same course: History. Isn’t it ironic, I’m supposed to be paying attention to U.S. History but all I can think of is the history of us.

Inside the void, the black hole of our romance, remember secret rendezvous: dancing in the rain, in the desert, in the middle of the street, on the steps of the great cathedral in England, the highlands of Scotland, our castle in Germany, the Piazza in Rome, the Eiffel Tower in Paris, bonfires on the beach, airplane rides just for the rush of soaring across the sky; the little things you’d do to make me smile: funny faces, flowers on my pillow, love notes with terrible rhymes, fantastical stories; all of the places you took me when life became too much.

Just as I’m slipping away, back to the happy days before the sky fell, class ends and I must pause before the kissing scene about to play in the movie of our past. Kissing, that was always a good scene; never a complication when your lips were touching mine. Losing myself in your passion was always more pleasant than finding myself in the cruel reality.

Magic was always the word you’d use to explain the power you had over me; a spell you found in one of those books you always read. But not even your unconquerable magic spells could keep the sky from falling, could it? Our magic sky. Perfect and peaceful even during the storms of red and orange, blue and gold, mixing to make fire and ice dancing in the sky. Quiet walks, hand in hand under that amazing inky curtain studded with billions of sparkling diamonds.

Rain came and washed the world away, then the rain stopped and the sky became brittle, crumbling, falling apart. Somewhere in the midst of rubble and smoke you began to disappear.
There is no hope of peace when all the world is consumed by rage and hatred, fear, bitterness and pain. Upside down, inside out, complete confusion becomes your existence when true love is ripped from your soul.

Vagabond of the mind and spirit. Weariness demands a change of thought and space and time.

Xander found me hibernating in the dark recesses of my inner soul and forced me to face the reality of your absence, but there was no solace in his attempts at comfort – always a friend, but not my soul mate. You seemed lost to me but in the night I found you, an angel forever by my side and in my heart. Zillions of emotions surged through breathing life and hope back into my dejected soul, teaching me to love again.

P.S. Feel free to tell me your honest opinion. If you don't like any of them, let me know and I'll try something else.