Tonight was fun! He told me to dress up and fix my hair differently so I did. It surprised him, maybe stole his breath a bit?
I used to sparkle sometimes. When I was "living at the insititute" and I would have a particularly good day, my eyes would sparkle and people would be drawn to me. I was Fun Laura then: The Funk! with the dance and the giggles. I used to be giddy a lot and my face beamed and my sense of humor and flirtatious side would shine through. People liked me then!
I liked me then!
Tonight I felt that way again...only better and I can't spell out exactly why...but I know! There was an energy and a chemistry that surged through me and I just couldn't stop smiling (my whole face, even my usually sad eyes were sparkling).
A huge part of it was being there, with him. I'm always happy when I'm with him...he is part of my home, my heart...I'm safe with him.
We watched Heroes...which also makes me happy, and Shygirl was there so it was fun!
I will tell you the real difference, the one he saw that caused him to ask, "Did you do something different with your face?" "Haha, yes," I said, "I am smiling!" But smiling is only part of it. The rest is because I am experiencing peace, healing, faith, and other Gifts of the Spirit that have been lacking in my life until now.
I'm working on restitution, making up for the time I was lost and selfish. I'm doing all I can to show the Lord that I am committed and that I am placing my life and my will and my desires in His hands. And I am finding bits of happiness there.
There is one who when your crying's done
gives the gifts you've never known
He'll give fruit because he is the vine
And life for he's the living stone.
(Lyrics from: The Man with Many Names by Michael McLean)
I believe that good, even great things are coming! I don't know when and I don't know how, but I know they are!
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