I have to start by mentioning that Bestest Friend has been really good about keeping in touch, she checks up on me at least every other day. She knows I need her right now and even though it's not face time, it's still better than nothing...it's enough and I am grateful!
Now to the real point of the post. Shygirl and I went to the stake musical review show thing the other night (very good, by the way) and kicked ourselves the whole time for being to cowardly to audition. It would have been such fun and we need to stop hiding our talents and all so we decided we were going to start doing things. I think my determination is a little stronger than hers, but then I'm a bit more outoing than she is. The point is, I joined my ward choir! And I made Shygirl come with me to stake choir as well...we'll be singing at stake conference next month.
I have always loved singing and I'm not too bad (if I do say so myself, which I have to because very few others have heard me sing). This way I am improving my talent, getting involved, meeting new people, and praising the Lord! Good times :-) I'm really happy with my decision.
Along with joining the choirs, I decided I probably ought to start going to more ward functions so I can meet people and feel like I'm more a part of the ward. So, The Artist talked me into going to ward prayer tonight. I have not been to a ward prayer in a very long time. It's been nearly two years, I think. I used to have such fun at ward prayer, but that was back in the day with all those phenominal friends I used to have (back in the hugging days of living at the institute).
I mainly hung out with The Artist tonight. I did talk with a few other people, but I stayed by The Artist's side the whole night. Mainly because there wasn't anyone there more interesting. I promise it wasn't out of fear or anything like that. At least I went. I'm putting forth the effort, eh? ;-)
The Artist and I have been friends for quite a while. We used to have great, lengthy, deep conversations but it's been a while since we've just hung out and talked. We parked on different sides of the building so he walked me to my car, where we ended up staying and talking for a good hour or hour and a half. We talked about all sorts of things, mostly relationships and the lessons we've learned and how far we've come and new insights gained and such. I love those conversations: complete, honest, personal, and sincere; when you open up to another person and make a connection because you realize that you're so alike. I discovered tonight (well, I knew it before so I guess I just rediscovered) that he and I are not just soul friends, we're soul twins. We're like the same person only in different bodies...but our souls are almost identical in a lot of ways so we really understand each other. It's fun when that happens because you feel like someone else actually does know what you mean! It was good, something I really needed.
I feel a little better now. I still don't have the answers I'm searching for but at least I feel up and motivated. Time to progress some more! Each day I feel a little different. Each day I see that I'm not who I've been the last two years, I'm much better and much more than that sad, bitter, pathetic, defective wretch that I was. I'm happier, motivated, open, affectionate and ready to face the world head-on. I'm ready (and willing and eager) to live! Finally!
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