i've been single, and completely uninvolved for just over a year and a half. generally i've been grateful for the time and distance away from men...however, there are two things i miss. i miss having someone i could just be with, be close to and talk with. and i miss the feeling of my hand enveloped in the safety of another person's hand.
i know this sounds silly but one of the reasons i couldn't marry bobpi was because his hand was too small. i didn't like the way my hand felt in his. his fingers were too close together and too small and he squeezed my hand too tight. Teddy's hands were larger and more comfortable, but he squeezed too tightly also.
one of the reasons i stayed so long with the weasel, even after i knew he was destructive was because my head rested comfortably on his shoulder, his arms held me so tenderly...and my hand fit perfectly in his. i hate that. i miss that. i hate that i miss that. i don't miss him...i miss having a shoulder on which to rest my head, arms to help me feel secure, and a hand...i can't explain the powerful effect of having a hand to hold.
one day a new man will come into my life. his hand will be more perfect for mine than any other has ever been or ever could be. i just hope he comes sooner, rather than later...
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