grasping at faith

i hurt.  i'm restless and aching and  feeling the clouds closing in around me.  my day actually started out okay, then it got better, then it was pretty good, then it took a dive.  i read something that felt like a punch in the stomach and a slap in the face...but attempting to replace my hurt with compassion, i tried to reach out but my hand was slapped away.  then my headache intensified, i feel queasy and i can't stop sneezing and now i just want to curl into a ball and cry until i'm washed away.  i know i'm too sensitive and too easily affected but i've tried for years to stop letting things get to me and it's just no use.  i try to handle others with compassion and kid gloves and i wish others would be a little more sensitive, considerate and kind toward me...anyway, i tried all sorts of things to distract me but nothing helped.  then i turned on my playlist of Sunday Songs and these are some of the words that spoke to me.  i'm not feeling much better, but it's interesting that so many other people feel the way i do...enough that a lot of songs have been written on similar topics.  anyway, i had written this big, long, whiny post but i'm going to cut myself off here, and leave you instead with a few words of hope and comfort.  i hope they give a little relief to whatever pains and heartaches you're currently struggling with.


♫ when your other half is taken ♪ the road seems more than twice as rough ♪ but you must know that you won't be forsaken ♪ though this stretch is awfully tough ♪ you can make it ♪ though it's not easy on your own and not what you planned ♪ you can make it ♪ when you feel like you just give half enough when you give all you can ♪ i'm sure the judge will understand ♫  Michael McLean

♫ and then my heart was broken ♪ and my eyes were opened ♪ i could feel His arms around me ♪ i could feel His love surround me ♪ oh, and i felt His grace ♪ and i will praise His name ♪ i lived for so long without knowing ♪ i didn't care where i was going ♪ until my heart was broken ♫ Hilary Weeks

♫ as we beg for peace and trust in His love ♪ we may not get the answers we want ♪ but answers come pouring from heaven above ♪ and He whispers -- ♪ you will know what to do ♪ just keep listening for direction ♪ the path is yours to choose ♪ turn your heart where i beckon ♪ every question will be answered ♪ so don't lose your faith ♪ God is here waiting with you in your waiting place ♪ you are never alone in your waiting place ♫ Calee Reed

♫ every fear, every doubt, all the pain i went through ♪ was the price that i paid to see this view ♪ now that i'm here i would never trade ♪ the grace that i feel and the faith that i find ♪ through the bittersweet tears and the sleepless nights ♪ i used to pray He'd take it all away ♪ but instead it became ♪ a beautiful heartbreak ♫ Hilary Weeks

♫ when her heart surrenders ♪ to the master in control her ♪ spirit learns the lessons of the tempest in her soul ♪ when it's no longer raging ♪ she can see how far she's come ♪ through the wisdom and the mercy of the Son ♪ sometimes He lets it rain ♪ He lets the fierce winds blow ♪ sometimes it takes a storm to lead a heart where it can grow ♪ He can move mountains of grief ♪ and oceans of pain ♪ but sometimes He lets it rain ♫ Tyler Castleton

and some of my "no worries scriptures" too...

"He hath delivered my soul in peace from the battle that was against me: for there were many with me." Psalm 55:18

"Be merciful unto me, O God, be merciful unto me: for my soul trusteth in thee: yea, in the shadow of thy wings will i make my refuge, until these calamities be overpast." Psalm 57:1

"Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest." Joshua 1:9
 "Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness." Isaiah 41:10

"When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee." Isaiah 43:2

"For i reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us." Romans 8:18

"If God be for us, who can be against us?" Romans 8:31

"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?...Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."  Romans 8:35, 37-39

"Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment? Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they? Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature? And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin: And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith? Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof." Matthew 6:25-34

there are many more but i have to go try to sleep now.  i hope something here has helped.  i love you and so does Heavenly Father.  you're not alone, and neither am i, though it feels that way too much of the time.  for whatever reason, this is the test and He has not sent us here to fail.  He's there, He's helping, He's already saved us, we just have to keep going until it's done.