23 May 2013

the sun'll come out tomorrow

well, another rejection...but it really wasn't the job for me anyway. i would like to figure out what job is best for me...oh well. my search continues.

as long as i keep my thoughts away from certain topics, life is actually a lot better that i generally let on. i've started sketching. before i ever thought of being a writer, i wanted to be an artist. my favorite classes in elementary and jr high school were always the art classes. i love creating things with my hands. i love painting, generally ceramics or wood. the thought that predominates my mind these days is that i'd like to learn to paint landscapes and portraits.

one of the books i'm currently reading is about an artist. it's actually about an artist who is in a mental institution, his story told from the perspectives of his therapist, ex-wife, ex-girlfriend, and letters written between two people from the 1800's with whom the artist is obsessed. the book is very intriguing in many levels for me. it makes me want to paint/sketch, write, and take more psychology classes.

i've been thinking a lot about taking some classes...or even going back to school full-time. i love going to class, discussing and gaining knowledge and ideals, having a reason to get up in the morning, something to focus on and work toward. if i were to go back, either for a second bachelor or a masters degree, i'd be the first in my family to earn either. that thought strongly appeals to me. if money weren't an object i'd stay in school forever. sadly it is an issue and i have no money to spend on much of anything right now.  i do have some better ideas what to study if i did go back...more career focused ideas than i did to begin with. and now that i've been through it once, i have a better idea how to go about my education in a more productive and future-oriented way.

decisions, decisions...how do i decide what to do?

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