That Savage Garden has some poignant lyrics.
I've been feeling aggressive recently. I've been feeling disappointed, neglected, angry, sad, hurt, anxious, tired...and a few other wearying emotions. I've been feeling paranoid. I haven't wanted to be around me, so I guess it's not surprising that I feel like no one else wants to be around me. I try to hide it when I'm around other people. I try to "fake it" but I get so tired of faking. Why do things have to be happy all the time? Why do we have to pretend that everything is peachy when it's not? I don't feel well today. I feel empty and unloved.
More than anything, I feel unloving. If I had love inside myself that I could give to others, I wouldn't feel to empty or negative. I spent all my love on people who threw it away and now I just don't have any more to give. I need an infusion of love into my veins, but it's not like I can go to the hospital and have them hook me up to an IV. Love doesn't come in a bottle, where does love come from?
I used to be really good at loving. I used to have hugs at the ready, compassion for anyone who needed it, now I think I want to just hide away. I feel empty because I have no love to give. I try. I try to serve and give to those in need, but I just feel more depleted. Maybe once my sinus infection goes away I'll feel better and more able to give. For now, I think it's best if I just become a hermit for a few days, stay away from people so they don't get poisoned by my inadequate blood.
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