Last night at Applebee's after FHE I sat by Ring Ting Ting (RTT) with Z-Train beside him. They are both really into music and such so I asked them to make me a list of music I should listen to in order to broaden my musical horizons. I consider myself to be fairly eclectic, but recently I've discovered that I'm not as much as I would like to be.
My other motive in asking them for musical suggestions was to give us something to talk about. They intrigue me and I have such fun when I'm around them. We watched Tron on Saturday and Ghostbusters on Sunday. I like that we're friends because they are both rather outgoing and interesting people; I'm hoping they will rub off on me. I feel terribly boring compared to a lot of people and I want to change that. My hope is that hanging out with them, watching random movies with them and listening to a greater variety of music can help me open up and revive my creativity.
Sometimes I'm clever. Sometimes I am interesting. Sometimes I am fun and creative and exciting...but not often enough for my liking.
Much of my life has been survived, shaded with gloom and doom, tainted with depression and anxiety. I don't want to be that way anymore. I want to live life, not just watch other people living their lives. I want to be outgoing and fearless. I want to be friendly and delightful to be around, so I'm surrounding myself with people who are what I want to be.
A couple weeks ago something finally clicked inside of me. All the anger and bitterness and irritation that had been consuming me for so long just melted away. I made a decision to see things and people in a better light. I made a decision to just be happier and stop worrying, fretting and fearing.
My attitude is really the only thing I have much control over. So, I choose to be happy. I choose to be open-minded. I choose to not take offense (whether offense is meant or not). I choose to like myself (whether anyone else likes me or not). I choose to see the good in all that surrounds me.
I choose to lighten up and just enjoy life, no matter what comes. :)
"I made a decision to just be happier and stop worrying, fretting and fearing."
ReplyDeleteIt sounds so easy when you phrase it like that with such confidence in yourself! I keep trying to make myself promises like that and always end up lacking... perhaps my motivation and willpower is not as good as it could be, I guess.
Way to go! Thanks for sharing your positive and upbeat decisions. It's inspiring.
-Anneliese-
Thanks for your comment Anneliese. So far it's working, but it's only been a couple of weeks. You know life always has a way of throwing curve balls and breaking down that determination...but I'm going to try to keep it positive.
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