Silly Me

Yesterday was a pretty good day. It started out gloomy (both outside and in my heart). I hadn't slept much in the last few days so I was tired and that usually brings the inability to restrain emotions. I wasn't bitter or angry or even depressed, really, I was just tired and a little disappointed. The camp out didn't go the way I hoped and I felt discouraged about dating, finding a job, and some other things that have been on my mind.

I had an experience during Sacrament Meeting. I won't really expound here but I felt Heavenly Father close to me and I felt reassured that things will be okay. My life is in His hands, He hasn't forgotten me, He knows my situation and He's taking care of things.

We had a mingle after church and it was nice to sit and talk with some friends for a while. As we were getting ready to leave, a couple of girls walked up to me and asked if I knew the boundaries for the wards. I took them in to check the map in the clerk's office. Pacman, Z-ster and BMT were there just hanging out and chatting with Jones. I got pulled into the conversation too and ended up staying for over an hour.

Later at Ward Prayer I was delighted that Pacman and Z-ster both came. They are highly enjoyable company. I hope they stick around for a while...maybe they're the new guy friends I've been hoping for. Z-ster keeps talking about doing weekly movie nights and such. Pacman has mentioned a number of times that he needs to come play more often too. Last night was seriously the most fun I've had in a long time...it helped me to believe that I can be happy again and that the bitterness and cynicism I've been feeling won't last forever! I'm starting to melt and it's a beautiful thing :)

Right now I'm just looking for guy friends. I would like to date and have some fun but I'm not necessarily looking for a serious relationship (though I wouldn't deny it if one came along). I just miss the days of having a variety of good friends around. I adore The Artist and plan to continue being good friends with him, but what if he gets a girlfriend or something? I am not reliant on him for my happiness but it would be nice to have other guy friends around on a regular basis; just to mix things up a bit now and then.

Things are looking up. I still don't have a job but that will come when the time and the situation are right. Little Sis and I are going tomorrow to an employment resource to see if they can help us out at all. At least it's something.