Calm before the storm?

With about a month left of school I should be panicking. I have an 8-10 page paper due in my grammar class that I have no idea how to write; I have many things to write for my Lit class; I have a 75 question cumulative test in my Human Development class that I may or may not pass; and I have zero focus and below zero ambition. Besides school, I still don't have a job. 7 months without a job is not such a good thing. I've been fine until this month. I had to barrow money from my parents to pay my bills this month...and it looks like I'll have to barrow more for next month. I don't know where to find a job. I'm not going to school during the summer (even though I should so I can get through my degree faster, but they barely offer classes I need and I have no money to pay for it so it's better to just take the summer off and look for a job).

I should be panicked. I should be freaking out. But I'm not. Somehow things will work out. If I fail my classes, I fail. If I can't pay my bills, I can't. Life will go on and somehow things will get better. The money will come, the grades will be enough, my family and friends stand beside me. There's no use in worrying, there's no sense in panicking. Losing control of my thoughts and emotions will simply make it more difficult to get things done.

Today I can be calm and level-headed. Tomorrow I may freak out. I don't know. Maybe things will work out without an explosion this time...maybe I'll lose it completely. Right now it doesn't matter. Right now, at 12:38am on a Sunday morning, all that really matters is that it's time for sleeping. And yet, I'm awake and trying to write...hmmm...