I've decided I'm ready. The Artist and The Man have helped a lot. They are good friends who are eager to communicate and who value my friendship. I can generally read them like a book and I can almost always get them to tell me what's on their mind...if they don't just tell me without coaxing. We're all sort of in the same kind of moment so we pull together to support and encourage each other. It's good to have someone to talk with in those moments when I start to get discouraged. Cute guy friends are especially nice for that. I adore them both!
I've actually been doing fairly well with keeping myself positive and looking for the happy and the good instead of complaining. I'm generally content these days. I would like to go on more dates though. I want to practice if nothing else. So, I'm doing everything I can to make it happen. I'm putting myself in as many social situations as possible. I'm finding various hair styles and clothing combinations, and even wearing some make up now and then (I generally don't like the stuff).
Today I was gorgeous (if you don't mind my saying so). With my cutest outfit and my hair rather perfect (for once it actually cooperated and I got many compliments), I covered up the gigantic pimple on my chin as best I could and put a smile on my face and went to church. At one point I shared a glance with Mr. Music that sent a bit of a tingle up my spine. Then in Sunday School he came in after I did and with many seats to choose from, he sat by me! Oh joy! Oh rapture! I was so delighted that I think I may have squeeled at one point when he went to play the piano for the opening hymn. Silly, I know but it made my day that he would choose to sit by me!
Choir practice was wonderful as ever...although, I got rather lightheaded during one of the songs. It was a good thing I was sitting down or I may have passed out...the room spun for a moment or two. No idea what that was about. I'm pretty sure it wasn't anything...perhaps he smiled at me and I swooned. Ah, the things a little smile from a beautiful boy can do to a girl.
Anyway...it feels like it's been a long time since the last time I kissed a guy. I'm pretty sure my last kiss was in April, that's a bit depressing. Actually, until the last couple of weeks I was totally content without any physical interaction. I was working through things and finishing all the recovery. Now I know that most of the wounds are healed because I feel the desire creeping in. I try not to think about it since I really have no options at the moment. But when I start having dreams, it's difficult to ignore. I had one such dream this week...and it left me a little breathless when I woke up. I'm afraid that no actual kiss in real life could ever measure up to the one in the dream. In fact, I don't remember the last time I was "really good and kissed".
*sigh* I want to be kissed...I wonder if Mr. Music...hmmm...
Hahaha! I sound like a twitterpated nitwit...perhaps it's time for sleeping, afterall, it's after 2am...happy dreams friends. Forgive my silliness.
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